There are no absolutes. But if I wanted to spot someone who’s had a topsy-turvy childhood and experiencing PTSD, I would look for these things in their existing adult relationships:
They are constantly on edge in their relationships, always waiting for the other shoe to drop. They appear to struggle to believe expressions of love from their partner, pushing people away when things start getting close.
Does any of this match your experiences? If the answer’s yes, then it’s time to do a bit of digging to learn how childhood trauma is affecting your adult relationships.
It’s a cruel irony: the peaceful life you’ve built may still contain hidden landmines from your past. While tip-toeing around these issues might avoid full-scale explosions, true healing comes from facing them head-on.
PTSD from Childhood Trauma
Lumping PTSD and trauma together in one sentence often gives the impression that they are the same thing. They are not.
Childhood trauma refers to deeply distressing or disturbing situations experienced as a child (even at the infancy stage) or an adolescent. This could include:
- Physical, emotional, or sexual abuse
- Neglect
- Witnessing violence
- Losing a parent or sibling
- Severe illness or injury
- Natural disasters
- Accidents
Not every traumatic experience will morph into PTSD. That doesn’t mean trauma isn’t problematic. It certainly is and can have lasting effects on a person’s emotional well-being and relationships, even without a PTSD diagnosis.
PTSD, on the other hand, is a specific mental health condition that can develop after experiencing or witnessing a traumatic event. It’s characterized by symptoms like:
- Intrusive memories or flashbacks
- Avoidance of trauma-related triggers
- Negative changes in thinking and mood
- Changes in physical and emotional reactions
While PTSD can be felt more severely, both trauma and PTSD are likely to have adverse effects on your adult relationships. Let’s explore how.
The Adult Brain After Childhood Trauma and Ptsd
Whether from trauma or PTSD, early life experiences shape our developing brains.
In cases of trauma, the brain, still in early development, might become more sensitive to stress and wired for danger. The amygdala turns really sensitive and rings the your-life-is-in-danger alarm bell for every minor.
Following that, the child then learns to develop a low threshold for stress, and the body loses its power to regulate stress hormones like cortisol.
With PTSD, the changes are even more pronounced, especially in areas responsible for emotion regulation and memory.
The hippocampus, crucial for memory processing, might show reduced volume. The prefrontal cortex, responsible for executive functions like decision-making and impulse control, might show decreased activity. The link between the amygdala and the prefrontal cortex might grow weaker.
What does all these mean for your relationships as a grown-up?
Everything. Those early, unhealthy reconfigurations of the brain swing into full effect many years later. They are largely responsible for why you struggle with managing your emotions in relationships.
These three common relationship problems illustrate the issues from childhood trauma and PTSD better.
Trust Issues
One of the core psychological principles at play here is the wildly famous attachment theory.
Childhood trauma leads to insecure attachment styles and can make it difficult to trust others completely.
You may struggle with fear of abandonment, difficulty believing that your partner’s love and commitment, or constant expectation of betrayal or harm.
Emotional Regulation
Childhood PTSD can disrupt the development of healthy emotional regulation. In adult relationships, this might look like:
- Intense mood swings
- Overreaction to minor relationship issues
- Difficulty expressing emotions appropriately
The psychological principle here is emotional dysregulation, where the brain struggles to process and respond to emotional stimuli effectively.
Intimacy
Childhood trauma and PTSD’s effect on intimacy may be the most problematic.
The very closeness that defines a healthy relationship can trigger fear responses in those with childhood trauma. This creates a push-pull dynamic:
- Craving closeness but feeling terrified of it
- Sabotaging relationships when they become too intimate
- Difficulty being vulnerable or sharing deep emotions even when you want desperately to do so
Complex ptsd therapist near me
Trauma’s impact, at whatever stage it occurs, is life-changing. I never get tired of saying that. The adjustments to the brain that these adverse events make are massive.
While our brains may be better equipped to handle trauma as adults, the growing brain doesn’t have that luxury. But that doesn’t mean there’s no hope of recovery.
Like most things in nature, our brains have restorative powers. They can be nudged to dismantle unhealthy connections and rebuild safe, healthy ones.
The principle of neuroplasticity explains this ability well. Because new neural pathways are formed throughout life, it is possible, with proper support and effort, to relearn how to form secure attachments, regulate emotions, and enjoy intimacy.
Therapy is one (maybe the best) way for the old brain to learn new tricks. Approaches like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) have already been proven to work well.
If you’d like to learn more about childhood trauma or even begin your recovery process from its effects, you can schedule a free 15-minute consultation with me to discuss your next steps.
