I ‘ m not worthy

Opening up about self-worth struggles can be difficult, particularly when you blame yourself for missed opportunities or passed over promotions. These can be big blows to your confidence. Thoughts such as “I just don’t feel worthy” or “I’ll never be good enough, no matter how hard I try” or “Maybe Dad/Mom was right – there is something wrong with me.” 

Many students in “Happy Valley,” or Provo, commonly experience these thoughts. It’s not just students though. Teachers, staff, and professors can also have these thoughts. These thoughts and their subsequent feelings can creep in and take over, making it hard to see your own value.

But the truth is far brighter. You are worthy, just as you are.

There are a few common roots of these tricky feelings:

Childhood Experiences

Many of us carry wounds from our childhood that shape how we view ourselves. Maybe you were constantly compared to a sibling, or felt like you could never live up to your parents’ expectations. Those early experiences can leave a lasting impact.

Societal Pressures

In our achievement-oriented culture, it’s easy to start tying your self-worth to your accomplishments. But your value isn’t defined by your job title or bank account balance.

Trauma and Abuse

For folks who have gone through traumatic experiences like abuse or assault, feelings of unworthiness can be especially heavy. When you’ve been made to feel small or insignificant, it’s hard to remember your inherent worth.

Signs You Might Be Struggling with Unworthiness

• You apologize constantly, even for small things
• Accepting compliments makes you squirm
• You avoid taking risks or trying new things
• You put yourself down a lot, like “I’m such an idiot”
• You feel you have to be perfect to be worthy of love

 

Reclaiming Your Sense of Worth

Okay, so how do we start to challenge these deep-seated feelings? Here are some strategies that have worked for my clients:

Challenging Negative Self-Talk

Let’s face it, we’re often our own worst critics. We most times focus on the mistakes, flaws, and imperfections, rather than acknowledging our strengths. This constant cycle of negative self-talk reinforces the belief that we’re not enough.

To break this cycle:

• Catch yourself when you’re thinking negatively.
• Ask: “Is this really true, or am I being too hard on myself?”
• Reframe your thoughts with more compassionate language. Instead of “I messed up again,” try, “I’m learning, and it’s okay to make mistakes.”

These small shifts in language can help you change the way you view yourself.

Let Go of Perfectionism

It’s tempting to think that if you could just do everything perfectly, you’d finally feel worthy. But perfectionism is a trap and impossible to achieve. It will only fuel the feelings of inadequacy in you

Allow yourself to be human. Understand that no one has it all together, and mistakes don’t define your value. Give yourself permission to be imperfect, and recognize that your worth isn’t tied to your achievements.

Focus on Your Strengths

One way to counter feelings of unworthiness is to shift your attention to what you do well. You might be great at comforting a friend, cooking a fantastic meal, or organizing a project. These may seem like small things, but they’re part of what makes you, you.

Take a moment each day to reflect on something positive you’ve done. Over time, this can help you build a more balanced view of yourself.

Surround Yourself with Supportive People

The people around us play a huge role in how we feel about ourselves. If you’re constantly surrounded by negativity or criticism, it’s hard to break free from feelings of unworthiness. On the other hand, being with people who lift you up can help you see your true value.

Don’t be afraid to set boundaries with those who drain your energy or make you feel small. Instead, spend more time with people who encourage and believe in you. Their positivity will start to reflect on how you see yourself.

Practice Self-Compassion

At the heart of it all is self-compassion. This means treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer to a friend. When you’re struggling, remind yourself that everyone faces challenges, and it’s okay to feel vulnerable.

Some ways to practice self-compassion include:

• Speaking kindly to yourself when you’re upset.
• Taking time for self-care, whether it’s a walk, a bath, or simply resting.
• Forgiving yourself when things don’t go as planned.

The more you practice self-compassion, the easier it becomes to see your inherent worth.

Consider Therapy Provo Utah

If you’re really struggling to shake those feelings of unworthiness, working with a therapist can make a huge difference. A therapist can help you unpack the root causes and develop personalized strategies for cultivating self-worth. You can book a free consultation with me to get started.

Schedule your free 15-minute consultation

You Are Worthy, Just As You Are

At the end of the day, your worth isn’t something you have to earn. It’s intrinsic to who you are as a human being. And I believe that if we all embraced that truth, the world would be a much more compassionate and joyful place.

So the next time you catch yourself feeling unworthy, take a deep breath. Remind yourself: “I am worthy, just as I am.” It may not be easy, but with practice, you can silence that inner critic and start seeing your true self.