Imposter syndrome compels us to underrate our achievements by doubting the truth. Enough of the lies; learn to manage imposter syndrome better; come to imposter syndrome therapy.
The description on the subreddit page discussing imposter syndrome reads, ‘Imposter syndrome is a psychological occurrence in which an individual doubts their skills, talents, or accomplishments and has a persistent, internalized fear of being exposed as a fraud.’
That subreddit may be home to just 10k+ members, but the feeling of inadequacy it describes is home to virtually every person on this planet.
‘I feel like a fraud’ may be the most common unspoken thought, thanks to imposter syndrome. Immediately following that false thought is a whirlwind of negative emotions, including anxiety, insecurity, shame and guilt.
Why everyone feels like they’re faking it with imposter syndrome
As a therapist who’s been around the block for a while, I can tell you this: imposter syndrome is quite common. The most recent research says the occurrence rate of imposter syndrome is 82%, but I rarely meet someone who hasn’t struggled with it.
Imposter syndrome is an equal opportunity adversary. It doesn’t discriminate on any basis — gender, age, ethnicity, experience or level of accomplishment. CEOs or first-year college students, it doesn’t matter.
“I feel like a fraud”
Perhaps the most definitive trait of imposter syndrome is its falsity. Those feelings of inadequacy are self-constructed and not objectively true. Even when others praise your success based on objective proof, you deny it and instead choose to magnify your mistakes. You think of your achievements as false and undeserving. Slowly, insidiously, imposter syndrome permeates our thoughts until we believe its negative words. It tell you, “You are a fraud. You cannot do this. Everyone will find out how much you don’t actually know what you’re talking about.” Naturally, for people who believe these thoughts, a common follow-up thought is “I feel like a fraud.”
Imposter syndrome amplifies anxiety and convinces you that you don’t deserve to pursue and enjoy success when that’s not the case. It tells you, for example, that publishing a book is not a remarkable feat because millions of people have already done it.
But why should that fact matter? Your success is just as valid as the millions of people who have already done it — and you deserve to celebrate that achievement without feeling like a phony.
A potpourri of complex factors common to all of us combine to create imposter syndrome:
Our relentless inner critic
We all have that inner voice that amplifies our shortcomings and downplays our successes.
Imposter syndrome empowers this voice, turning it into a relentless drill sergeant who constantly reminds us we’re not good enough.
Perfectionism’s dark side
Striving for excellence is admirable — and is a trait many people share. However, perfectionism breeds a fear of failure so potent that even minor missteps feel catastrophic.
The comparison trap
Oh, social media. Social media creates a highlight reel of everyone else’s achievements. We compare ourselves to these curated facades, feeling like failures in comparison.
Childhood experiences
Critical or dismissive parenting or a lack of encouragement can leave us with a persistent feeling of needing to prove ourselves.
It is virtually impossible to go through life without experiencing at least one of these factors. With each experience, the consciousness that we are not perfect grows, further opening the door for imposter syndrome.
The opposite of imposter syndrome and how to find it
The opposite of imposter syndrome is authentic self-confidence.
While imposter syndrome is rooted in self-doubt and a lack of self-worth, the opposite can be seen in authentic self-confidence. This doesn’t mean an absence of doubt or fear but rather a healthy recognition of your abilities and limitations.
Authentic self-confidence isn’t about arrogance but acknowledging your strengths and weaknesses with a balanced perspective.
Three important things that can help you build healthy confidence include:
Self-awareness
It is crucial to understand and accept our strengths and areas for growth. This balanced self-view helps us recognize that while we are not perfect, we are competent and deserving of our achievements.
Growth Mindset
Embracing a growth mindset, popularized by psychologist Carol Dweck, involves seeing challenges as opportunities for learning and growth rather than threats to one’s self-worth.
Self-Compassion
Be kind to yourself in times of failure or difficulty. Instead of harsh self-criticism, self-compassion allows you to treat yourself with the same understanding and patience you would offer a friend.
How to overcome imposter syndrome
I have seen therapy’s transformative power rid many people of imposter syndrome. Through therapy, you can address the root of your self-doubt, challenging the beliefs that anchor the imposter phenomenon — all while having a professional psychologist walk you through every step. For DIY lovers who would instead help themselves, these are some of the most effective strategies for managing imposter syndrome:
Celebrate big and small wins
Take the time to acknowledge and celebrate your successes, no matter how small. The easiest way to do this is by keeping a journal.
An alternative way is to recycle an old jar, tag it ‘The Win’ Jar, write the wins you get on a small sheet of paper and keep piling it up. On the days when self-doubt takes a toll, go to the jar and pick a random paper. It’ll remind you that you’ve always been and will continue to be deserving of your achievements.
Seek feedback
Constructive feedback from trusted colleagues, mentors, or friends can provide a more objective view of your abilities.
Challenge negative thoughts
This one’s very important.
When imposter feelings arise, actively challenge them. Ask yourself for evidence to support or refute these thoughts. Often, you’ll find that the negative beliefs are not grounded in reality.
Practice self-care
Taking care of your physical, emotional, and mental well-being is crucial.
Adequate rest, nutrition, exercise, and relaxation can significantly impact your self-esteem and resilience.
Vanquishing the imposter: Imposter syndrome therapy
Imposter syndrome affects the best of us, forcing us to cower in fear of our greatness. But with therapy, we can reclaim our accomplishments, silence the imposter, walk away from the mask and its lies, and finally believe the truth—you deserve your seat at the table.
If you need help managing imposter syndrome, book a free consultation to begin reframing those negative thoughts to something with a little more sunshine and a lot more confidence.
