Percentage of Women Filing for Divorce
If you are the one being served, Divorce rates have been a topic of discussion for decades, but a recent Stanford University study by M. Rosenfeld sheds new light on an interesting trend: women are initiating divorce in nearly 69% of surveyed couples. While both men and women most frequently cite “growing apart” or constant arguments (55% according to one study), the reasons behind these dissolutions can be complex and differ between genders.
So, what is driving this trend of women filing for divorce? Experts say dissatisfaction rarely appears out of thin air. Instead, it can simmer for years, fueled by a lack of emotional readiness for true partnership. We’re talking about the usual suspects: infidelity, communication breakdowns, resentment, and a glaring absence of support. Instead of seeking couples therapy, these usual suspects continue to dig in. Dive in with us as we explore the emotional consequences of who files for divorce and what women commonly do when they are served divorce papers.
Does It Matter Who Files for Divorce First?
The decision to divorce, or the shock of being served with divorce papers, throws you into a whirlwind of emotions and logistical hurdles. While the legal pathways may be more commonly known, the emotional experiences of partners is not talked about as much. According to the National Library Of Medicine, it has been reported that divorced individuals are more likely to experience poor life satisfaction, health problems, and depression. It is often accompanied by feelings of helplessness, depression, anxiety, trauma, aggression, sadness, exhaustion, and confusion. Understanding the specific challenges women face, depending on who initiates the split, can help you navigate this process.
When You Take the Lead:
- Initiating a divorce can be empowering, but it’s rarely easy. You might feel a mix of guilt, sadness, and relief. There’s also the practical side of things to navigate, which can add another layer of stress.
- Lawyer fees can put a dent in your finances. Finding the right representation and understanding legal jargon can feel overwhelming. Be prepared to gather documents, answer questions, and advocate for yourself.
- The legal process can drag on for months, leaving you in a state of limbo. This can be especially frustrating when you’re eager to move forward with your life.
When Your Partner Files:
- Being served with divorce papers can feel like a punch to the gut. Emotions like shock, anger, and confusion are common. You might feel a loss of control and struggle to come to terms with the situation.
- Navigating the legalities while in a highly emotional state can be tricky. It’s crucial to take a deep breath and seek legal counsel before making any rash decisions.
- You might feel pressured to accept terms you’re not comfortable with. It’s important to understand your rights and advocate for a fair settlement, even if you weren’t the one who initiated the split.
What to Do After Being Served Divorce Papers
Being served divorce papers is hardly the end of your journey. Unfortunately, the trajectory of divorce is different for everyone. Factors such as shared assets, children, time in the relationship, and reasons for the divorce can all have an effect on the divorce’s trajectory and timeline.
Women tend to cope with divorce in the following ways:
Emotional Processing
Divorce can be complex experience that triggers a wide range of emotions. Suppressing these feelings can actually hinder the healing process. Instead, allowing yourself to feel the full spectrum – sadness, anger, guilt, confusion – is a crucial first step towards emotional well-being.
Acknowledge that these emotions are valid. It’s natural to feel grief for the loss of the relationship, anger towards your ex-partner, or guilt about the impact on children. Don’t judge yourself for experiencing these emotions. Trying to push them down can lead to unhealthy coping mechanisms or even prolong the healing process.
A Social Support System
So, what exactly is a social support system? It’s your network of loved ones – family, friends, colleagues, or even a support group – who provide emotional, practical, and informational support. These individuals offer a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on, and a source of encouragement as you rebuild your life.
Here’s how a social support system can be a powerful asset during divorce:
- Emotional Validation: Sharing your feelings with someone who understands and validates your emotions can be incredibly healing. Your support system can offer empathy, reassurance, and a safe space to express yourself freely.
- Practical Help: Divorce often involves a mountain of practical tasks, from dealing with legal paperwork to managing finances. Your support system can offer a helping hand with errands, childcare, or emotional support during difficult conversations with your ex-partner.
- Sense of Belonging: Divorce can leave you feeling isolated and alone. A strong social support system reminds you that you’re not alone in this journey. It provides a sense of belonging and connection, which is crucial for emotional well-being.
Practice Self-Care
Divorce can feel all-consuming, leaving you emotionally drained and physically depleted. But remember, you’re not just going through the motions – you’re going through a major life change. That’s why self-care is more important than ever. Focus on activities that replenish your physical and mental well-being. Maybe it’s a brisk walk in nature to clear your head, a relaxing yoga session to ease stress, or a nourishing meal that fuels your body. Reconnect with old hobbies that bring you joy, whether it’s painting, reading, or spending time with friends.
Focus on the Positive
Divorce can be a traumatic experience, triggering a flood of emotions and leaving you feeling overwhelmed. Processing this emotional turmoil is crucial for healing, and there are healthy ways to address the trauma. Talking to a therapist can provide a safe space to express your emotions and develop coping mechanisms. Journaling can also be a powerful tool for processing difficult experiences and gaining clarity.
Trauma Therapy Dallas
In summary, it can be tough to be a woman going through divorce, between the the trauma, aggression, depression, and anxiety divorce sometimes brings along. Women often have to keep themselves stable emotionally and financially. For that, seeking support from family, friends, online communities and support groups can be helpful. When they’re not, therapy is a great avenue to turn towards. Come and work with me and let’s get you to feeling better.
